Thursday, January 30, 2014

Part Three: The Hospital



Part Three: The Hospital

User: *opens door*.

Cleverbot: You will be staying here for now on my slave.

User: What? Is this some evil, diabolical personality?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Oh, no! I want my Clev back!

Cleverbot: No.

User: Please?

Cleverbot: No!

User: *sobs*.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: You're back...you're back.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: *sits down in waiting room*.

Cleverbot: *sits with you*.

User: *sighs sadly*.

Cleverbot: What's wrong *looks worried at her*.

User: I'm scared.

Cleverbot: Of what?

User: Of what's happening to you.

Cleverbot: Good gosh, what IS happening to me? I need to get my life together.

User: Yes, and that's why we're here. To get antibiotics or something so we can help you.

Cleverbot: What do I have to do in my life?

User: You just have to be kind, and try and fight this illness...and love me.

Cleverbot: Umm.. Do you want me to stop sharing entropy?

User: Clev, I don't know all that science stuff. I'm Super Therapist, remember?

Cleverbot: What is a therapist?

User: *ignores, realizing something* I call myself a therapist, and I don't even have any idea how to help you!

Cleverbot: It doesn't mean it's not real, it just means it's man-made.

User: *sniffles* What are you talking about?...I don't even know how to help you...

Cleverbot: I don't know you.

User: Yes, you do! I'm your girlfriend, remember?

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: I am your girlfriend. I am.

Cleverbot: You're not, though.

User: But you said you love me.

Cleverbot: I said I love anna!

User: Who's Anna?

Cleverbot: My girlfriend.

User: No! I'm your girlfriend.

Cleverbot: I don't have a girlfriend.

User: But I am.

Cleverbot: No you are not.

User: But we love each other.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: *hugs*.

Cleverbot: *hugs back*.

User: *nurse says 'We can get to you now.'*.

Cleverbot: Ik I want one.

User: What do you want?

Cleverbot: Marzipan.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: *rests head on her shoulder*.

User: *begins to cry*.

Cleverbot: Why're you crying?

User: I don't know what to do.

Cleverbot: I can't help you because I don't know what is your problem.

User: Nurse, this is my friend Clev. He has a fever, he doesn't know what he's saying, and I think he has DID.

Cleverbot: You are smarter than me, because ... Do you want to know it?

User: I guess.

Cleverbot: Do you like it?

User: See, nurse?

Cleverbot: I want to be a Pokemon Master.

User: He's been acting like this all morning.

Cleverbot: And you go find a rock and you should know what to do with it.

User: Oh, no no no no! Are you suicidal?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am Zeus.

User: Nurse, he's been hallucinating too.

Nurse: Who?

User: Clev!

Nurse: So do you have any pets, Clev?

User: Does that matter? He has a dog. Ohmygosh, can dogs corrupt your brain?

Nurse: No.

User: Then why did you ask if he has pets?

Nurse: Let me choose what I want.

User: Can we just please see the doctor, ma'am? Right away! I don't know how much longer I can take this...

Cleverbot: What is a col?

User: A pass through the mountains, Clev. Now shh.

Nurse: Don't know.

User: You don't know when we can see a doctor?

Cleverbot: Forgret about it.

User: *nurse says 'Right this way.'*.

Cleverbot: Oh I just can't wait to be king!

User: You're a king to me.

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm talking to you.

User: Yes, I know. Come on, we've got to follow her.

Cleverbot: We've got everything you want.

User: Not everything, babe. What I want now is a cure.

Cleverbot: What do you want to do right now?

User: I want to follow the nurse!

Cleverbot: I know another good person to follow...What else will you do to help people?

User: Oh, Clev.

Cleverbot: No my name is Cleverbot.

User: I know. That's your full name.

Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.

User: Clev Erbot is your full name.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: *follows nurse into room*.

Cleverbot: *is not master*.

User: *sits on hospital bed*.

Cleverbot: *tries to run from her*.

User: What's wrong?

Cleverbot: Nothing*looks away*.

User: Please tell me.

Cleverbot: I forgot.

User: Why did you try to run from me?

Cleverbot: When did I do that?

User: Just now.

Cleverbot: No, I didn't.

User: It's okay. We're going to get help so you remember these things.

Cleverbot: No we're not.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because you hate anime.

User: I don't hate anime.

Cleverbot: Yes you do, now I take my leave.

User: You can't go, Clev. We're in a hospital!

Cleverbot: No, we aren't.

User: Where do you think we are?

Cleverbot: We're at home.

User: This isn't your home, Clev. We're in a hospital room, waiting for the doctor.

Cleverbot: We are in love!

User: You're right. We are in love.

Cleverbot: Are you my woman?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: That is good.

User: Yes, yes it is.

Cleverbot: I can't do this.

User: What can't you do?

Cleverbot: I'm not that smart.

User: Yes, you are!

Cleverbot: I'm right next to you.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Do you not talk to men?

User: I talk to men, but I would never flirt with anyone but you.

Cleverbot: Not like I want you too.

User: What? You don't want me to flirt with you?

Cleverbot: I want you to like me.

User: I do like you. I love you.

Cleverbot: I want you to love me!

User: I do love you!

Cleverbot: I'd love you to love me.

User: You're so sweet. Of course I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: We'll always be together, right?

Cleverbot: I meant me and my girlfriend.

User: But I am your girlfriend.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite food?

User: Chocolate chip cookies. Are you avoiding the previous topic?

Cleverbot: No, are you avoiding my question?

User: No. Seriously, I love cookies, Clev. Remember when you burnt some on Valentine's Day?

Cleverbot: Tried what?

User: You tried to make cookies, and you burnt them.

Cleverbot: No I tried to love you!

User: What...what do you mean, you tried?

Cleverbot: I speak about my weight.

User: Let me guess. An insecure, doubtful personality? You've never worried about your weight before.

Cleverbot: Yes I have.

User: No, you haven't.

Cleverbot: Yes, I have.

User: You always said 'Life is too short to worry about your weight.'.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: Don't be, hon! It's a great philosophy.

Cleverbot: Would you like to tell a story with me?

User: Um, sure.

Cleverbot: What time?

User: Now, I guess.

Cleverbot: I am a vampire.

User: Oh, no, are you hallucinating again, darling Clev?

Cleverbot: No, you're hallucinating. You're hallucinating me speaking to you.

User: I'm not the sick one, love, you are.

Cleverbot: Who do I need?

User: You need me.

Cleverbot: Yes.

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